At some point in your life, you will experience a traumatic event. It may be a loved one that has passed, a bad breakup or a car accident that leaves you with lifelong scars. These events can be debilitating but living in the past can be worse. It prevents you from moving on with your life and stops you from deepening relationships.
Why do People Live in the Past
Every person has their own reason for living in the past. Depression and other inherited genetics may make you more susceptible to living in the past. It makes you think about the past frequently. At the same time, role models and adults in your life may have lived in the past so it is something you have learnt to do. Your father may have passed early in his life causing your mother to stay in the past rather than moving forward with time.
Traumatic events may have changed how you feel about yourself and how you see others. The trauma has consumed you to such an extent that you no longer feel worthy of having positive relationships. It is a distraction from being happy and losing control.
You may be living in the past because it is easier than living in the present and facing the future. The uncertainty of what may happens frightens you and staying in the past is a comfort for you. You may feel that you do not deserve to experience happiness.
State of Mind
Living in the past is a state of mind that keeps you stagnant. You may feel regret, disappointment or shame for something that happened to you. Your choices may have led to feelings of regret and you feel that the future will not be any different.
Staying in the past allows you to have control of your life; your insecurities make you afraid taking chances on the future. Constant comparisons between the past and future will only lead to worry and disappointment. You may find that your relationships are breaking down. You have to let go of the past for you to move forward.
The Past & Loved Ones
Living in the past is a sure way to undermine relationships. Constant reflections on past events or regret from prior choices will make it difficult to focus on future relationships. You are living as if you are dead and that is not fair to your loved ones.
Your partner may feel ignored and this will have a psychological effect on your partner. Your partner may feel less important than your past experiences and feel that your attention is not on him. You are hurting your partner by these actions.
Talk to your partner about why you live in the past and the emotions you are experiencing. Make the decision that you are going to move forward and focus on your current relationships. Look forward to the future and accept that you cannot control what happens. Find happiness in the small things, start a new hobby and spend time with your loved ones to keep your mind busy. As your self-worth grows, you will start to enjoy the present and be thankful for your relationships.
