In recent years, a new term has cropped up in psychology and popular culture: Toxic Masculinity. This concept implies that men are expected to be strong, independent, stable and masculine, and everything that doesn’t conform to these norms is not considered masculine. Toxic masculinity is the reason why many men with mental health issues never seek out help: it’s considered weak for men to feel bad.
One of the traits that’s harshly criticized by the norms of toxic masculinity is insecurity. Insecure men are viewed as scared boys who don’t own their masculinity and don’t know how to behave as a traditional man. This view is, of course, completely wrong, because insecurity is completely human and nothing to be ridiculed or criticized.
If you’re dating an insecure man, you might feel the impulse to help him in some way. This is ok, but remember there’s a fine line between criticizing someone’s behavior and trying to help them. The easiest way to boost your man’s confidence is by doing it subtly and not pointing out that he’s insecure.
If you’re in a marriage or a long-term relationship, it’s normal that you want to make your SO’s life better and easier. So, here are some tips on how to make an insecure man feel secure:
- Accept Him (Completely)
When you accept someone completely, both their personality, looks, and behavior, it will show. The same goes for the opposite – you might say what you want, but your partner will intuitively feel if you don’t accept some of their traits.
Don’t blame yourself for your partner’s insecurities. He was probably insecure before he met you, so it’s definitely not your fault. The best thing you can do is accept your partner completely, insecurity and all.
- Give Him Compliments
Another false fact of toxic masculinity is that men are compliment-givers and not compliment-receivers. This is completely false. Men love compliments just as much as women do. Giving him compliments regarding his looks, personality, smarts or accomplishments will go a long way in building his self-confidence.
If you don’t have a habit of giving him compliments, don’t start doing it all of a sudden, because he’s insecure and might start reading into it too much. Rather, start with smaller, daily compliments and make sure they’re regular, honest and direct.
- Listen To His Problems
Men are not likely to talk about their problems, and if they’re experiencing an issue, they will more likely withdraw and take some time alone to tackle to problem themselves. If you see that your partner is doing this, give him his space. Insecure men are especially prone to reserved behavior when they stumble upon an issue in their personal or professional lives.
However, if he expresses the need and wishes to talk about his problems and insecurities, be there. Practice active listening and don’t give any advice, criticism or assessment, just listen. The mere act of expressing his insecurities can help a lot in resolving them.
Marriage is a journey of two people sharing each other’s insecurities and vulnerabilities. If you’re ready to open up to someone and thrive together in marriage, visit GoMarry.com.
