Being terrified to fall in love is not all that uncommon. Many of us harbor feelings of fear when it comes to giving into this emotion. From an early age we are told that ‘love conquers all’, but if so then why do so many relationships fail? The very real fear of intimacy can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Here are just a few of the reasons why someone might be afraid to let themselves, love.
They Were Hurt In The Past
When you start a relationship with someone, for better or worse, you take them and all their baggage. When our defenses are up and we create a wall between us and our partners, this can only result in a maddening experience for everyone. Both people in the relationship will hurt, but of course, they are hurting in different ways. The trauma brought in from a previous relationship can really inhibit the development of a healthy bond. And that can stir up unresolved feelings of rejection, anger or pain. And these associations have the potential to erode a relationship from inside out. Learning to let that trauma go will require work and communication from both sides.
Unhealthy Role Models
From the time we are born, our parents play a vital role in our development. So much so that we are still learning how crucial parental interaction in early life is for the developing mind. If a child is brought up in a toxic environment, this will imprint itself and play a role in their future. It can be hard for adults to differentiate themselves from their family, and this can keep them from forming a healthy relationship with a partner. Choosing the right companion that can help overcome these fears can be a daunting task. Matchmaking websites like GoMarry can support you in your journey if falling in love is your goal.
Love Can Bring Out Unknown Insecurities
Many times, those who are terrified of falling in love, are already in fact, in love. The intense and scary emotions that are associated with intimacy are enough to instill panic. When you have a lot, you have a lot to lose. Meaning the more you feel for someone, the fear of losing them is that much greater. And so you might nitpick insignificant behaviors, instigate fights; or even more devastating, end the relationship. Self-sabotage comes in many forms, and when you love someone they tend to get the brunt of that pain.
Getting to the bottom of what is causing your blockage to love is crucial in forming healthy bonds. A healthy relationship can have a ripple effect for generations to come, just as an unhealthy one can. And there is no quick – fix, sadly. Getting a handle on your mental health and seeking help for it is the first step towards a positive future. Because the reality is, every relationship finds itself dealing with challenges, this is a normal part of being a couple. But, it’s how you move past these hardships and work together that strengthens a bond long- term.
