Sometimes men can seem like an enigma, especially when dating, but things aren’t that complicated. Men and women share a lot of the same worries and pressures when dating so all you need to do is understand their thinking.
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These aren’t life hacks that will guarantee a relationship, but if you follow our tips then you’ll be able to read the signs and ensure that you’re in a better position to turn what could have been an awkward date into the relationship you’ve been dreaming of.
1. Don’t Get Drunk
We know you may be feeling the nerves before a date, but don’t try and settle them by pounding some drinks. We’ve heard of people loosening up with a little tipple, but if you’re lining up shots before the date starts then you’re going to be out of luck real soon.
Don’t overindulge on alcohol as it will not only affect the impression your date has of you, but it also reduces your control. If you’re getting messy then you won’t be in control of the situation which could start the vicious circle of being more nervous because you don’t have that control.
If you are going to have some drinks on your date, take it easy.
2. Take your time
The decision to invite a date back to your home is completely yours to make, but remember there’s no wrong answer. You both may be on the same page and happy to go back together, but not inviting a man back won’t be taken as an insult. If anything, it could show that you’re really interested.
That might sound counterintuitive but subconsciously, men may be relieved that they didn’t get the invite. Even if a guy asks to come back, he may be secretly hoping you decline. Stay with me here. Men don’t want to rush into anything too soon, just like women. If they’re invited back after a first date, they may feel there’s pressure being put on the situation, but they could also think this is a one-off. Are they being invited back because the date went well and you felt a connection, or do other dates also get invited back the first time?
Choose what’s comfortable for you, but don’t feel pressured one way or the other.
3. No Friend Requests!
Almost everybody these days uses social media like Facebook and Twitter, but let’s think about how we use it and what goes on there. You had a bad day on Monday and ranted about your boss on Facebook. Tuesday you shared a sweaty picture after your hot yoga class. Wednesday and Thursday you and your friends spent all day tagging each other in memes, and on Saturday…pictures of you out on Friday night surfaced. Do you want your date seeing all that immediately?
Despite the overwhelming urge you may feel to add or follow your date’s social profiles straight away, don’t do it. Leave a bit of mystery. If it’s been a good date and you’ve planned another, wait it out a little before pressing ‘add’. Get to know each other organically and in person before you share each and every Facebook page you’ve liked since school!
4. Listen to your introductions
If you’ve been dating for a while now, make sure you take note of how you’re introduced in social situations. The stereotype is that men don’t talk about feelings or give a lot away, and although that can be true, but they can be very territorial, and that’s not a bad thing.
When a guy has decided if you’re the person he has feelings for and wants to spend time with, subconsciously something will click. If you’re out with a group of friends and he introduces you, for example, as his girlfriend, then his feelings are clear. Girlfriend, babe, woman; the specific wording doesn’t matter, he’s made his intentions clear.
At this point, if you’re in the same place as him then you’re no longer dating, you’re in a relationship. If you don’t feel the same way, you should look to end it before it goes any further!
5. Give him some space
Another stereotype is that a man won’t make contact if left to his own devices. Trust me, men know how to keep in touch with people, and they will get in touch if you have a connection, but it doesn’t need to be every day!
Calling up every day to “check in” will send the wrong message. It will either be that you’re desperate, or he’ll feel smothered and lose interest. On the other hand, if you’re not ringing the phone off the hook then he’s got the space he needs, and will invariably end up wondering what you’re up to and get in touch.
6. Be your own Woman
Men love doing their own thing, and it’s a quality we look for in women too. In the same vein as communication, you don’t need to do everything together all the time! If the roles were reversed, you’d probably be a little freaked out if a guy you were dating had no social life or hobbies apart from hanging out with you, and the same is true for men.
Hanging out with your friends, work socials and doing your own hobbies. Just because you’re dating or in a relationship doesn’t mean you should stop doing them! Over time, if your relationship progresses, then you’ll find your’re doing more of these things together anyway, but don’t rush into it.
Having your own space will mean you continue to be yourself, the person he wants to get to know, not the person you think he wants you to be.
7. Don’t force commitment
Commitment can be a scary thing. There are exceptions to the rule, but most men are not quick to fully commit to a relationship, especially if it’s still in the early stages. That’s not a reflection on you as a person, it’s just how we’re wired.
You have to remember though, just because your guy may not be on board as quickly as you are, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want commitment. If you push him too hard then it can end up feeling like an ultimatum, and those are never fun! Take it easy and let him decide when it’s right for him to give you that commitment.
Understanding men while you’re dating isn’t as hard as it may first seem, but remember that every man is different. Don’t compare the guy you’re on a date with to your last boyfriend. If you’re still not finding any luck in the dating pool, but you know exactly what you’re looking for in husband material, head on over to GoMarry.Com!
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