Calm Down

How to Keep Your Cool When You’re Mad


Stubbing your toe against a brick will cause a string of expletives. Your blood boils when your boss sends yet another demanding email. The last thing you want to do is to take this anger and frustration home with you. You may be mad but you have to learn how to keep your cool.

Blowing Your Top

Overreacting when you get angry is quite normal. You may feel the urge to swear or hit a wall. Screaming, saying things you don’t mean and insults are often part of a heated argument. All of these reactions can lead to feelings of shame and regret when you calm down. Your body will respond in certain ways to anger. As your temper starts to flare, your blood pressure and heart rate will increase. Your head may throb and your skin may become flushed; this is normal but can be dangerous to your health. It really is best to keep your anger under control.

As we get mad, our emotions, reactions, and common sense tend to go out of the window. We take it out on other people, even when it is not their fault. It is not fair to take your work anger home and make your partner carry the brunt of your anger. This is the fastest way to sour your relationship. You need to learn how to keep your cool and stay in control of your emotions.

Staying in Control

When you get angry, take a deep breath, hold it for a few moments, then exhale quickly. This will help to bring your blood pressure down. Drink a glass of cold water. It may be necessary to ask for a few moments and take a brisk walk before facing the person who has made you mad. Ask a colleague or friend to join you on your walk and use him as a sounding board. Let out all your anger and use the harshest language if necessary; just ensure that other people are not around to hear you vent.

Once you have calmed down slightly, think about what made you angry and why it made you angry. Identify potential triggers and the way the other person’s actions made you feel. Be ready to explain these feelings to the other person. The person who has angered you is just a human being – he is a vulnerable person too.

Keep Your Calm Down


The best way to deal with anger is to face it head-on. Approach the person who made you angry and explains to them why you are angry. Do not scream or insult the other person; talk respectfully. If you stay calm then the other person will remain calm too. When you are done talking, give the other person a chance to explain his actions or words. Do not interrupt the person. Listen until the very end and keep an open mind. In most cases, you will be able to reach a mutual understanding and can put the incident behind you.

You may feel that you are partly to blame for the situation or have regret at a later stage. Forgive yourself and do not brood on the problems. Learn from the situation and be wary to not respond in the same way in the future. Focus on positive thoughts and actions. Lastly, do not let your anger fester; once you reach consensus you need to let go of your negative emotions. Getting mad is a normal thing. Feeling angry happens to everyone but how we deal with these emotions is what makes us a better or worse person. Stay calm, breathe and communicate openly with the other party. Following these actions will lead to an improved relationship with the other person.

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