Communication Gap in a Relationship

Communication is a crucial part of every relationship.  There really is no relationship if you aren’t talking to each other and sharing what is on your mind and what your needs are.  Sometimes though, even in the healthiest relationships with the best people, communication can break down.  There is a myriad of ways communication in relationships can break down.


Take the long-term relationship first. Do you find that things are less interesting than they used to be?  Or are you having trouble not fighting over the little things?  Sometimes these little things happen.  But if you bottle it up you could end up in real trouble!  When things upset you, talk about it.  Make sure to be gentle, and not accusatory, and come up with a solution together.  But if one or both people are bottling it up, that is how the communication gap forms.  When there is a communication gap, it can be really painful. You might end up lashing out at each other or getting more upset over the little things that you usually would.


What if you are in a short-term relationship?  Even if you see good things in the future, it is important to take note if you are finding it difficult to communicate.  When you get into a new relationship, it is really important to take note of the things that matter to you both.  That is done by communicating.  A good way to make sure you are on the same page as your new partner is by looking through the ‘101 Practical Questions to Ask Each Other Before Getting Married’ on


What happens when there ends up being a communication gap?  If your relationship is important to you, you will fix it.  Once you notice it, do not immediately start thinking about who is to blame.  Think about what is upsetting you.  Is it a forgotten anniversary, or a mismatch in taking care of household responsibilities?  Do not assume what your partner is thinking.  They might not have even thought of what was upsetting you.  It is really unlikely they were doing it on purpose.


So, how to fix it?  Sit down, when you are both calm and not hurrying off to do anything else.  Then all you have to do is say exactly what is wrong.  “You forgot our anniversary.”  “I’m spending too much time doing chores while you’re with your friends.”  “I need more quality time together.”  Whatever it is, it is never as scary once you’ve said it out loud as it would have been cooped up in your head.  And you never know, the gap might be two-sided!  They might have something they need to talk to you about as well.  You will never know unless you talk about it, and when you do, you can get to fixing it.

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