Did your mom ask about that person you were dating, saying she misses him or her because they were so nice? Did you go out in one of your favorite places, where you had some of the best dates ever? Let me guess, that made you wonder how they’ve been and in what possible way you could get back with your ex… But first ask yourself: is it worth it?
The reason why you broke up will always matter
If you didn’t get over their insufferable flaws, you won’t do it now either. I’m not talking about the way they hold a fork, sip their soup or blow their nose in public. I mean the ways they treated you as their partner, or simply as a human being.
In case your ex was disrespectful, why would you want that again? In a serious, long-term relationship, both partners should support each other, encourage one another and not step over their boundaries. If you got cheated on, I think it should be clear by now: your ex didn’t want to commit and you should move on to someone who treats you right.
Consider whether the relationship was going anywhere
What were the expectations the two of you had when thinking about the future of your relationship? In case you wish to get back with your ex you first have to figure out if the both of you wanted the same thing.
Many couples struggle to make compromises. More often than you think, one of them dreams about settling down, getting married one day, while the other wants to stay a bachelor. If your desire was to take the next step and that scared your partner, you might have been in the same situation. It might be better to find someone with a similar mindset and GoMarry.com could be the place to try.
Honesty is the way to go
I want you to pay really close attention to this part because it could go either great or really wrong. This is how I don’t want you to be honest: when you try to get back with your ex, do not start criticizing them, because you’ll end up fighting. If that broke you up last time, it won’t fix things now.
On the other hand, you should make your expectations very clear. Tell them what you wish for in a partner, how you want to be treated. Put things into words that express how you felt in the past, not how it was their fault. Make sure to clarify whether you’re both willing to make things last. If you don’t, it’s not worth the trouble.
How to approach your ex and start a conversation
Don’t go: ‘I can’t live without you, let’s make up.’ Desperation will not help you get back with your ex, it could even scare them away. Give yourself value, so they’ll see it in you.
Nowadays, texting is probably a good idea, but only to get things moving, not when having the actual serious talk. In order not to make it weird, keep it casual. Keep it random.
You could send a funny message about how you ran into someone that looked just like them, and it was in their favorite coffee shop. Let them know about a concert or play they might like seeing. Ask them for a recommendation or advice, on a topic you know they’re good at. Remember: stuff people have in common are the ones bringing them closer together.
