Fifty percent of marriages, according to statistics, is doomed to end in divorce. If that’s so, this begs the question, does love fade over time? If you love someone, will you always love them? Well, it really comes down to what you consider love to be. Are we talking about that all-encompassing love that overcomes new couples during the honeymoon phase? Then, the answer is most likely no. Love like this is not sustainable. And if you compare your relationship to this kind of love, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. Love is a journey that two people embark on, and even though it’s a simple four-letter word, the meaning behind it is far from that.
My neighbors have been married for over fifty years. They are well into their eighties. Every time I ask them what the success is to a lasting relationship, they always joke that both didn’t want a divorce at the same time. We all have a laugh over it, but I often come back to this statement when discussing this subject. Is there truth in that? Love ebbs and flows, it’s a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions that are all fall under the umbrella of ‘love’.
Love is …
- Mutual Respect
There isn’t one size fits all when it comes to love. As a relationship progresses, so should love. You and your partner will fight, test each other’s boundaries, and then fight some more. In the early years of a relationship, you are learning how to communicate with each other. Confronting mistakes and being open to change all allows love to flourish. Sure there will be threats of breaking up, yelling, and stonewalling, as well as other hurtful things. But, it’s how we resolve things that truly matter. Once you are able to communicate effectively, love will be able to thrive.
Can We Simply Fall Out Of Love?
Some people question that after being in a long-term relationship if they are still truly in love or just simply comfortable. Well, that answer lies within you. Is being comfortable a part of being in love? For me it is. I don’t expect that I will be overcome with love my entire relationship. There are signs that shows your there are chnages in your relationship. It might be because your love fade. But, sadly, there are signs that you have fallen out of love with your partner, and it’s time to move on.
- You stop spending time together
- The sex has stopped and you both lost that spark
- Your fighting has increased
- You no longer can stand to be around him/her
When these signs occur, and no amount of counseling can fix it, you know that your heart is no longer in this relationship anymore, and it’s time to go your separate ways. Life is too short to stay in a relationship that is not making you happy, meeting all your needs, and building you up. Sometimes we are just not better together. As painful as this might be, the option of finding love is still out there for both of you.