Narcissist behavior of my partner has turned my three and a half into a hell, it was as if someone were standing in the corner of my mind, slowly dimming the light
After a traumatic childhood, it took me years of persistent inner work to build up to a point where I felt I could say that I truly loved myself.
As fate would have it, I then met my narcissist ex and fell head over heels in love with him.. I didn’t notice at first but by the time I did. It was pitch black and I had to scramble my way to the switch in the dark.
My Narcissistic Ex Abused My Love
Some people are well aware of the power of their words. They use calculated put-downs to lower the self-esteem of their partner, just to gain control over them.
When a person’s self-esteem is low. They are more likely to be a better doormat and allow bad behavior to continue.
In my situation, my ex did not lift a finger around the house whilst actively complaining about his problems all of the time. I listened to him rant, cooked for us, I did the groceries, did the laundry, cleaned the house. I even worked full time and paid for our apartment.
And you know what that best man did to me? He and his narcissist behavior abused my love. Read: https://articles.gomarry.com/toxic-relationships-between-a-narcissist-and-an-empath/
I didn’t realize that he was taking advantage of me until well after the relationship was over.
Growing up in a toxic environment made me used to unhealthy behavior, making me a prime victim for further abuse.
I guess there was something familiar about the disappointment and violation of boundaries that didn’t trigger an alarm bell for me.
In the end, on top of damaging my mental health, he cheated on me, lied about it and broke my heart.
I Began To Hate Myself
Without realizing what was happening I accepted his narcissist behavior.
I slowly began to believe his insults and think that I deserved to be treated badly. He would hint that I was fat. He would always taunt I lost an unhealthy amount of weight because I did not feel that I deserved to eat.
Like any narcissist. He used negativity to get his way and upset me to the point that I didn’t care anymore about my desires.
His narcissist behavior would even stoop so low as to speak highly of other women to me, whilst acting like I wasn’t good enough. He did all of this to distract me from what was really going on – the fact that I was dating a roaring asshole.
Picking Up The Pieces
It took a while to get back on my feet after we broke up. But with consistent practice of affirmations and cognitive behavioral therapy, I was able to rebuild my self-esteem.
I am now done with his narcissist behavior. Now I am in a space where I will never allow a person to drag me down with them and if I so much as catch a glimpse of a red flag, I say goodbye and never look back. Next week, I will be going on a marriage meeting with a decent guy. We both have come across each other at gomarry.com.
