104. Ask About Family Background and Structure

Note: This question and the next 3 might be crossing over a lot. It might be a good idea to read them all before starting the family topic.

What you are trying to establish through this question is the family ethos and culture (both internal and external). Do they come from a broken or stable, intact, closely knit family? Do they know members of their extended family i.e. their aunts and uncles?

Perhaps they come from a broken family and from this they would like, at all costs, to right the wrongs in their family. They have probably found the inner strength to raise their children in a stable family. That’s another external factor to keep the marriage going because they are willing to make more sacrifices and put in more into the marriage because marriage is about sacrifices.

One’s family background and structure directly or indirectly shape a person’s character. A man may be a family man, fulfilling all their responsibilities because his dad did the same. Another may fancy polygamy because he’s seen it work.

  • What type of family do they come from (large or small, polygamous or monogamous)?
  • What do they love and/or dislike about their family?
  • What would they change in their own new family compared to the one they grew up in? and what would they like to keep?



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