106. How will we argue?

Asking this question is vital to know for your safety and sanity.  Let no one lie to you, you will argue as a couple. Depending on your compatibility and oneness of mind, the frequency of your fights will change from time to time.

It is therefore important to know how your future spouse will argue and what they will argue about. Arguing over the thickness of soup won’t really do you any good & neither will arguing, whether right or wrong solely to win the argument.

A relationship’s success is often based on how differences are dealt with. So this questions is even more important to ensure you never let little things balloon out of control because you both don’t know how to settle differences.

Some of the questions you can ask are:

  • Do you get mad and out of control when arguing?
  • Do you tend to swear and curse more when arguing?
  • Does logic play a role in your arguments or is it all emotional.
  • Can you admit when you are wrong?
  • Must you always win an argument?
  • Do you throw plates or calmly discuss issues?
  • Do you lash out or silently shut down when disagreements arise?

You should also ask some questions about how their family/parents argue or argued. This will give you useful insight & help you judge if your partner will come to mimic the conflict resolution patterns of his or her parents or avoid them.

If you are at a later stage in your marriage meetings and it looks quite likely that you both will choose each other, it would be wise to set some ground rules at this stage on how conflicts will be handled. Rules that both of you can realistically adhere to. Good Luck.


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