43. Medical conditions

Full disclosure about both long and short term medical conditions is crucially important and only fair to the other person.

No matter what the medical condition, visible or not, you should disclose it now. Or perhaps you are susceptible to a certain disease due to your family history. It is important that you let your potential partner know about it, as they may not be willing to assume a caretaker role in the future. And if you need care you don’t want to be with someone unreliable who may abandon you.

Caring is a very difficult challenge for someone. So don’t be ashamed to admit you can’t do it if that’s how you feel.

For example, if one of you was a diabetic. Would the other be okay with giving you an insulin injection daily? If one of you suffered a mental illness, will the other be supportive or destructive to it?

Some questions to ask are:

  • How did they get the condition?
  • Are they taking any medication?
  • How much do they spend on medication?
  • Any implications on the condition, can it be transmitted? If yes how?
  • Will they require any expensive equipment? For example wheelchairs or stairlifts.
  • Is it possible that their physical condition will deteriorate?

Trust me, the presence or absence of a disease may affect your marriage so you have to ask this question. You cannot afford to skip it. There are no two ways about it.

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