33. How will you make decisions when you are married?

We’ve all heard the saying that one ship cannot have two captains. Which carries some merit but then a marriage is not a ship, is it? And a marriage should NOT be run as a democracy either.

Generally speaking, men are leaders and should take counsel from their wife on the decisions they make. And the wife should support his decisions as they are in the best interest of the marriage.

As long as the man is just, always taking counsel from his wife and is generous with decision making, everything will run well. But when it’s crunch time, he must take control and make the decisions that best steers his marriage/family to success, even if it is not of popular opinion he must be strong and she must be supportive.

This is my view and it is by no means set in stone. If either of you think otherwise now is the time to talk it out. Consider the following points between you both:

  • Do you feel the need to either be in control or be taken care of? One person should always be more dominant than the other.
  • How important is equality in a marriage? Define what you mean by equality. Remember that you’re both equally important but play different roles.
  • Do you believe that roles in your family should be filled by the person best equipped for the job, even if it is an unconventional arrangement? Such as the man taking care of the home.

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