Oh boy. This is one question that inevitably doesn’t have just one answer, does it? And when this happens, many women immediately go to a place where they believe their husband is cheating on them. It can create an atmosphere of tension, self –doubt and a whole slew of insecurities. Of course, this could be one of the reasons a husband temporarily checks out in a marriage, but it’s not the only one.
Stress
Everybody deals with stress differently. And if your husband has been taking on a heavy load at work, and depending on how stress hearty he is, it might be hard for him to be present while he’s at home. If you just had a new baby, or have young children this can also drain him of his resources. At the end of the day, there simply is not anything left to give. Maybe a date night is in order to reconnect. Or picking up a weekend hobby like hiking will help to release some of that stress.
Depression
Stress and depression often go hand in hand. What is causing you stress can also cause depression. Clinical depression is something that should always be addressed head-on. Educate yourself on the signs of depression. The distance your husband is creating might be a cry for help, or he’s trying to shield you from himself. Taking care of one’s mental health is just as important as physical health. Perhaps he needs a gentle suggestion to reach out to a mental health professional.
Your Dynamic
Take a look at your dynamic between both of you. Are you constantly fighting? Does he stonewall you while you are very vocal about your needs or wants? It could be that your dynamic has grown toxic and he is avoiding a fight or an uncomfortable interaction. This will take a lot of introspection, and pulling yourselves out of this habit will take some work. Perhaps you need to involve a third party to be objective and help take out the blame to make your communication more positive.
Screen Addiction
I know this one might have you scratching your head – but hear me out. Smartphone addiction is a very real thing and could be a growing issue in a family. If a husband is always on his phone, his attention and time are spent in his device, rather than on his wife. He could physically be there, but he’s not present and attentive. A great solution would be depositing phones in a bowl before dinner or bed, therefore that time is solely spent together and no gadget is coming between the two of you.
If you notice that your husband is drifting farther and farther away from you, don’t let it fester – deal with it head-on. Attacking and name calling can get the best of us in the heat of the moment, especially since these feelings are very painful and raw, but wait for a time when you are both calm and are more receptive to hearing one another out.
