Everybody has baggage but how it affects your relationship can differ dramatically. We all bring a history with us to a relationship and one of the exciting things about a new partner is learning that history. Sometimes, however, things in our past will have an impact on how we act in a relationship or may even still be a present problem that needs to be addressed. In this article, we are going to look at different perspectives of baggage and how they can influence our new relationship with a partner.
A previous marriage can be seen as baggage to some. If you have connections with your ex-wife or husband, maybe through having children together, that person will always be in your life in some capacity. Some new partners can struggle with your past still being a part of your present. Constant reminders of previous relationships may be too much for your new partner. But we think, as long as that previous relationship is treated with respect and the new relationship with your ex is healthy, this can only be a great way to move forward. It takes strength to continue a relationship with someone after it has romantically broken down, we applaud you. It also takes great strength to be a partner to someone who still has involvement with their ex-partner. The partnership must feel like a secure one for all parties to treat each other respectfully. We suggest communication as the key element here. If your partner has children with an ex-wife or husband, find out from their previous partner how much they are comfortable with your involvement. They do have a say in what their children are exposed to, after all.
If a past relationship gave you some issues with trust, this can have a negative effect on future relationships. Trust issues can be a really hard thing to overcome, but you must remember that a new partner has not caused them. Try not to allow yourself to be tormented by doubts in trust; your new partner has not given you a reason not to trust them. Be patient with yourself, this kind of baggage can take some serious work to overcome. Be honest with your partner about your past but make sure to treat them with a clean slate. Check out Signs of an Insecure Man for more advice on how to be sensitive to each other’s insecurities.
It is important to remember that pretty much all areas of your life come with history. It may be history with family members that hold a negative memory for you or a previous partner who caused some issues. The most important thing to consider is that you and your partner will both bring separate baggage into your relationship. Work through as much together as you can with clear and open communication. Honesty is the key to building a stable and secure future together. Try your best to tackle any baggage that could negatively impact your relationship, and try and do this as a team.
