When we first enter a new relationship, it seems like it’s all sunshine and rainbows. Your intimacy is getting deeper by the day, you’re getting to know your significant other in meaningful ways and then… Boom. Either slowly or suddenly, you get disappointed in your partner and in your relationship. If this is your romantic pattern, you might experience this rollercoaster of enchantment-disappointment in each of your relationships. So, how exactly can you avoid disappointment in relationships?
Avoid Unrealistic Expectations
Disney-type romantic stories and standards are a recipe for disaster. If you have extra-high standards, you’re setting yourself up for failure. No human being is perfect, so you’ll find that each person you meet doesn’t align with your fantasy of the perfect partner.
Make sure you keep in touch with reality, humanity and the real world. If you keep your feet on the ground and stop expecting a Romeo and Juliette story, you might just experience one.
Think Positively
Don’t enter a new relationship with negativity or baggage from previous relationships. One of the most important recipes for a successful relationship is effort and positive thinking: if you think your relationships are doomed, they probably are. Positive thinking will also have a great impact on your relationship with your partner.
Steer Clear of Relationship Killers
Lies, cheating, and jealousy are the biggest relationship killers. If you use deceit to manipulate your partner or you’re prone to affairs outside of your monogamous relationship, you’re very likely to kill even the strongest relationship.
Jealousy is a different type of problem that can be handled through self-improvement. It’s basically your reaction when your partner taps into your insecurities. Therefore, it’s important to work on yourself to combat jealousy.
Develop Emotional Maturity
Only emotionally mature individuals are capable of strong, affectionate relationships. If you constantly find yourself in disappointing relationships, you might ask yourself:
- Is it my fault?
- Have I been the best possible partner I could be?
- How can I improve myself?
- What can I learn from this relationship?
If you’re not emotionally mature, you might be setting yourself for failure without even knowing it. Emotional maturity means being ready to share your emotions, thoughts, and dreams with another person.
Beware of New Relationship Traps
When you’re getting to know someone, it’s easy to make mistakes and fall into some traps that destroy chances for a successful relationship. These mistakes include clinginess, jealousy, neediness, previous relationship baggage, or being too reserved and closed. If you behave like this out of caution at the beginning of the relationship, you might blow your chances of making it, leading to disappointment.
Forgive, forgive, forgive
If you think about it, mistakes and glitches are bound to happen, even in the happiest relationships. The secret to a successful, long-term relationship is constant forgiveness. Forgive your partner as often as you can and you will receive forgiveness in return. When there are no grudges or problems beneath the surface, the relationship will not be a disappointment.
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