Cellphone Etiquette in Relationships

Cellphone etiquette differs between couples.  For some, it is no big issue, perhaps because they don’t use them very much anyway.  But for others, cell phones can be a real issue.  I am going to run over a few different areas of cell phone etiquette: communication, spending time together, and other uses.


When you are getting to know someone, perhaps before you are in a serious relationship, there are some ways that cell phones can become an issue.  For example, the person you are communicating with may want to speak every day, or they may be a quieter sort, and only need to communicate a few times a week.  Making it clear the sort of level of communication you are looking for can save you from all sorts of miscommunication-based tropes that are so often trotted out in media.


Spending time together in person is the most important part of developing a close relationship.  This is the case whether you are early on in your relationship or getting closer to the sort of long-term commitment we like best over at GoMarry.com  There is something really special about the time you spend together, staring into each other’s eyes, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.  This is very hard to do when you are on your phones!  Of course, sometimes there will be important calls you have to take, and there are things you can do together on your cell phone!  Taking pictures, reading articles, all sorts of things.  It is important, however, to know what your boundaries are.  There is a difference between quickly sending a text and scrolling through Facebook when you could be talking with your loved one.  It can drive a wedge between the two of you, and it might breed underlying resentment.  This happened to me once, when my partner was getting distracted quite often.  I found myself missing her beautiful eyes!  We talked about it and now it’s not a problem anymore.


The final way cell phone etiquette can be a bit of a minefield is when you are communicating with other people.  Unfortunately, social media and cell phones have become the catalyst for a lot of bigger disagreements.  If you are not confident in your relationship and feel you cannot trust someone, you may begin to over-think things like who they are texting, and how often. However, if you are confident that you trust your partner and they trust you, trivial things like texting could get in the way.


So, to sum up, cell phone etiquette differs between every couple, depending on what their levels of comfort are.  If you trust your partner, and you communicate your needs to them, there are no reason cell phones should get in the way.  If you don’t trust your partner, and the two of you don’t communicate your needs, there could be problems.  This is because cell phones are so much a part of our lives, that we can’t totally separate ourselves from them, so we need to have a healthy balance.

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