Create Emotional Attraction

Relationships thrive on emotional attraction.  It is what good relationships are built on, where they draw their sustenance and closeness. Without emotional attraction, all there is the physical.  And while that might work short-term, if you are looking for closeness and someone to spend proper, quality time with – maybe even the rest of your life! – then purely physical attraction just won’t cut it.  A good way to make sure you are on the same page as your partner is by looking through the ‘101 Practical Questions to Ask Each Other Before Getting Married’ on  Here you can look through the questions and build that solid, deeply connected foundation from which your relationship can grow and thrive.


So how do you create emotional attraction?  Well, the simple answer is by spending time together.   Whether it is just a quick lunch during both of your busy work days, or long nights spent up talking about everything and nothing, emotional attraction forms from the lighting of a spark.  It could be that one first conversation or you might love someone’s laugh.  That draws you in, and before you know it, you are itching to spend all your time together.


There is science to the emotional attraction.  There is also a mystery.  When you spend time with someone you are emotionally attracted to – even if you just get a text from them – it releases endorphins that make you feel good.  It can be hard to stay away from that feeling.  Everything has to be done in moderation though.  You don’t want your new emotional attraction to burn out because of you over-indulged.  Remember to always make time for yourself and not to let time with friends and family fall by the wayside.


We don’t really understand how emotional attraction works.  But the ways to build it are pretty simple.  Try doing a new activity together, so that you have memories of something that just belongs to the two of you.  Maybe do something spiritual like meditation or go to their place of worship to build that higher level of closeness.  That is especially important if you are looking to build a long-term relationship, because religion and spirituality are things that get us through the good and bad times, just like our partners.  Learn about each other’s ambitions, families, memories, and dreams.


Often, as we go through life, physical attraction can wax and wane. Maybe you are too busy to be interested in your partner physically for a period of time – a new responsibility at work may come up, or you may have family obligations.  As people get older, their interest in physical intimacy can get higher or lower, which is completely natural. But if you know the emotional connection is there, these are all things you should be able to bounce back from.  Emotional and physical attraction are linked and definitely build on one another.  But emotional attraction can grow from non-sexual and non-physical types of intimacy, such as the activities listed above.  There are lots of ways to grow a relationship, but it is important to remember the foundations must be built on communication, care, trust, and respect.

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