When you’re in love the sky is bluer and the days are brighter. As you think about your new relationship and how good you feel, you just want to make it last. There are many obvious reasons to ensure your relationship goes from strength to strength – commitment, physical attraction, fun, humor, shared interests, unselfishness, communication and other things too. Couples just want to have what it takes to make their love last. But what happens when there are disagreements – how do you fight fair and grow closer rather than causing a deep rift?
The Reality – There is Always Going to be Conflict
The person who believes that fighting doesn’t happen in a couple’s relationship is in for a difficult time. There is always going to be conflict, in an intimate relationship as well as all other relationships. Conflict is normal, and many times necessary. It’s not a good idea to have issues with someone and to avoid ‘sorting out’ the issues you have. Bottling things up will create a volatile environment, particularly in an intimate relationship. Resentment builds up and festers and this is when you blurt out things that are best left unsaid and which can have lasting, negative implications.
Keep the Purpose of the Fight in Mind
The goal of any fight is to make your thoughts known. But then this is also the goal of your partner. The person you’re fighting with is the one you love and they too, like you, have a valid point too.
- Avoid irretrievable insults. When two people come together, it’s inevitable that there will be bickering. It’s not about whether you fight but how you do it. You want to fight about the topic and not fight each other. People who don’t know how to fight fair, hurl insulting, personal stuff at their partner, and these hurtful words can never be taken back.
- Once out there, they can cause an irretrievable break-up. Having know-how around fighting fair can actually bring you closer. This is because, in a civil way, you get to hear what the other one feels.
- During a fight, remain emotionally intelligent and trustworthy. Avoid saying things such as ‘I’m outta here’, ‘this is the end for us’ or ‘I’m getting a divorce’ – unless of course you absolutely intend carrying through with it. Saying these words every time you fight can be an attention-grabbing stunt, and used in all your fights, actually loses impact.
- If your argument is going around in circles, be the emotionally mature one and stop the argument. Arguments can start off mildly and then become more vicious if you allow it to continue. If you and your partner are just repeating the same things over and over again, there’s no point. Stop meaningless arguments before they spin totally out of control.
All couples are going to argue, but when you find a more like-minded mate, the arguments are less and tamer, and of course, more easily resolved. At GoMarry.com, this marriage relationship service is where you can discover millions of like-minded people who, like you, want to bicker less and build on a meaningful relationship.
