He said forever and I believed him, but he lied. Maybe he even believed his lies, but the point is he never knew how to love
The meaning of love for him was not the same as it is to me. It is still difficult for me to think about this let alone accept it. But the time has come for me to admit that he never loved me.
If he did, we would still be together because I loved him and forgave him for everything. I guess the meaning of love for him was not the same as it is to me. His actions spoke differently.
After a lot of reflection on the way things ended and the fact that he finally stopped trying to contact me, I’ve realized a few things about him and why it could never have worked in the long term.
Some people don’t know how to love
You might be the closest thing your partner ever gets to love. They may care deeply about you, deeper than they have ever cared about anyone or ever will.
You could literally be the love of their life but this is where it gets tragic. Certain people can feel and experience a sense of deep love and yet not know what to do with it.
My ex had grown up in a toxic environment, without a decent role model and this damaged him subconsciously.
He was broken without a clue of how to fix himself. Even if he had been willing to try it would have taken years of consistent effort in order to change at such a deep level.
Not everyone has the capacity for this kind of radical self-growth, but a healthy psyche is needed for a healthy relationship. He might have tried his best but at the end of the day, his actions spoke differently.
Love is more than a feeling
Although love is often thought of as an emotion. It is mostly about expressing or aligning with those emotions in every word, though, and action.
They say that actions speak louder than words, and while anyone can say that they love you, only a select few will have the capacity to prove it.
It takes time to figure out if an individual is capable of love, and it can be very confusing if they sometimes act loving and other times not.
If the person claims to love you, his actions should mean it. But often we found that his actions spoke differently than that of his claims.
At the end of the day, it has a lot to do with respect, selflessness and considering the feelings of the one you love – consistently.
While a person may want you in their lives if they have not learned to control their own impulses and emotions. They will not be able to make selfless sacrifices or to compromise.
It’s always nice to hear that you are loved, but the tell-tale sign of true love is when you can trust another person to prioritize your feelings in any situation.
Real love takes courage and the desire to learn and grow. The real lesson here is that sometimes good intentions are not enough.
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