Being lovesick is a real thing – you constantly think about the person you like, you lie awake romanticizing at night, and you don’t even want to eat. Do you feel you can do anything for them but are you really willing to do what they ask? Every relationship has its limits and boundaries; there is definitely something that you might be resistant to doing, even though you love this person with all your heart.
If you really love me…
Think about a time that your partner asked you to do something you weren’t comfortable with. Maybe your boyfriend wanted you to do sexual favors but you weren’t quite ready yet, or your wife wants you to constantly choose her over anything else. Maybe your partner even used the words “if you really love me you will do it”. Reflect on how these situations made you feel and consider if you would do them again.
At some time you may use love to manipulate a person, or they may manipulate you, into doing something that you may not want to, but love made you do it. Loving a person is a great thing but you cannot commit to every wish the person expresses. Love is fearless and without limits, but it still has its boundaries. So what are you really willing to do for love?
Sticking to your values
Making decisions about what you willing to do for love should be rooted in your beliefs and values. All decisions should be morally sound including those done out of love for your partner. You have to live with what you do and be responsible for your actions. Stick to what you believe is right even when it comes to love.
Discuss your moral integrity with your partner and be clear about principles that you will not compromise under any circumstances. Set limits together and keep each other on the right track. You should be comfortable with your choices and actions.
You should never compromise on your values to keep your partner happy. If your partner asks you to break the law then you might want to reevaluate your relationship. Your partner should not put you in a position that will affect you negatively. Harming other people is also not acceptable; your relationship should not dictate the breakdown of other people. Talk about problems like these as soon as they start to arise and make it clear that you are not willing to participate.
There are times when you will definitely be willing to do anything for love. Your partner may suddenly become very ill and need a kidney transplant; in this case, you will most likely be willing to give her your kidney. Another time your relationship may require you to skip a big event to rather support your partner in a difficult time. There is nothing wrong with doing these things; just ensure that your decisions are morally sound and not going to hurt someone else.