The main objective of hoovering is to use any resource necessary to get you back under control. They will yell, cry, beg, guilt-trip, shame, blame-shift, make false threats or accusations, feign revelations of their wrongdoings of the past and even make generous but empty promises for the future.
What is Hoovering?
The term hoovering comes from the famous brand, hoover. It is a vacuum that sucks everything. It is a process in which the narcissist tries to reconnect with you after separation.
He Will Pretends the Breakup Never Happened
This may happen after one hour, one day, one week or even one year. He will call you or text you and pretend that nothing has happened. He may say “What’s up” or “Hey stranger, long time no talk?” Say to him that you don’t want to talk. Do not engage.
Try to Approach You on Special Occasions
He may approach you on New Year, your birthday or Christmas to get your attention back. Never show any signs of sympathy.
He Will Makes a Fake Gesture of Caring
He will say words like, ‘I was thinking about your job.’ All these things are tools to grab your attention back. In fact, he wants to win back your trust to abuse you again.
He Will Try to Tell You How Much He Loves You
It’s yet another trap. He will try to invoke your feelings by saying, ‘I love you.’ But you know he doesn’t mean it. And will try to convince you that he understands your feelings and he always wants to be with you. Will use words like ‘I adore you’ or ‘I love you’ like a weapon.
He Will Asks You Random Questions
He may ask you, ‘Do you remember the name of the Thai restaurant we went to in Los Angeles?’ It doesn’t matter whether you remember or not, he just wants to get back your attention. He wants you to focus on him. Never pay attention to such tactics.
He’ll “Accidentally” Call or Text You
He will send you fake messages and pose that was accidental. However, he had planned them because he’s an evil genius. You’ll get a message that he’s in hospital and you start thinking to call him.
He Apologizes Over and Over
He apologizes for his behavior again and again but all of his claims are false. Just because he’s apologizing now doesn’t mean he has made any miraculous, life-altering changes. Such things don’t happen to hoovers.
He’s a game player. The only person he cares about is the person he sees in the mirror every day. You must keep your mind clear that he’ll never change his habits. Stay away from him and get trapped.
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