How to Handle Someone Flaking

Most people have been flaked on with a text while you’re at the restaurant waiting, and the sad look and feeling of being an idiot soon follow. In this day and age, it is so easy for someone to just send a text to say, “Sorry I won’t be able to make it tonight, insert lie here.” Some people have the courtesy to cancel plans with you in advanced but that feels terrible too. You’ve spent all this time anticipating the great evening you’re going to have together. Then, in an instant, your hopes and dreams are shattered.


Of course not every time someone flakes is a lie, but it always feels like you’re being lied to. When someone flakes on you, it feels terrible because you feel that you’ve been disrespected. It seems like they don’t care about your feelings. However, you shouldn’t let someone flaking on you make you feel bad. It says far more about them than anything to do with you.


Here are a couple of things you should realize when someone flakes on you, and a healthy way to view the situation.


  • It lets you know that they don’t respect people’s time.


Nowadays, everyone has busy schedules. Moreover, we are generally connected at all times. If someone flakes on you, either they are super disorganized or they just don’t think your time is as valuable as theirs. In either situation, do you really want to start a relationship with someone like that anyway?


  • This person did you a favor.


They saved you the hassle of being with someone who doesn’t deserve you. There is no need to be angry or sad about it. Thank your lucky stars that they showed their true colors before you wasted your precious time.


  • This leaves the door open for someone who is worth your time.


You want to be with someone who loves and respects you. That means that they respect your outlook on life, your hobbies and your time among other things. The person who is right for you is still out there and this person helped get you closer to the one.


Nobody likes being flaked on. Some people will immediately jump to the conclusion that it is something wrong with themselves. Don’t do that. Everything in life is perception. If you frame what happened correctly, it can help you to realize that you are a valuable person that deserves more.


Situations like this are why I prefer online dating sites like where I can take my time getting to know someone before just going out on a few dates and realizing that it isn’t a good fit. I want my partner to be someone I enjoy talking to, not just someone I have the hots for. That’s why I like to take things nice and slow. Whatever your cup of tea might be, respect yourself and have fun because life is too short not to.

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