I Was a Hot Mess in Love But Not in a Cute Way

 

I am not proud of some of the things I have done in the past, but today I will share my story in the hopes that it will be a compass to you in your dark night. Sometimes, just opening your heart and mind to the experience of others can be enough to get a fresh perspective. Have you ever been in a relationship where what started out as fun and games, slowly turned into a toxic nightmare?

 

Maybe you are currently caught up in a web of broken dreams, wandering how you got so lost. They say love is blind and when you want something to work with someone so badly, this can lead to poor decision making. It can be handy to check in and remind yourself of the difference between healthy and toxic relationships.

 

I was always a good girl and never in my life thought that I would ever cheat on anyone, but I did. What leads me down this dark road was that I found out my ex had been cheating on me. At first, I tried to forgive him, believing that we all make mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance. So I stayed with him and tried to make it work when it was way past over.

 

I should have left. The cheating continued and I was slowly driven mad with jealousy and resentment. I really wanted to be the bigger person, but I didn’t realize how hurt I was and how I could never trust him again. I was so caught up and obsessed with the idea that he was “the one” and the fantasy of our future that I couldn’t let go.

 

I should not have stooped to his level but I thought if he just found out I was desired by other men, he would realize my worth and change his ways. That did not happen. All that happened was that he started cheating on me more. I would visit him and he would simply begin washing the sheets, a silent stab at my heart, every time.

 

My ego wanted to believe I was so awesome that I could actually win over this lunatic and make him love me. I changed my values to try and win at a game I didn’t even want to play. It ended in tears, but it doesn’t have to for you. If you are holding on to a relationship that is bad for you, do yourself a favor and read this article to find out exactly how to avoid self-destruction.

 

Through this experience, I learned that there is no point trying to change someone who is not ready for a long term commitment. The beauty of GoMarry.com is that it’s the only dating site designed for people who are specifically looking for marriage, so this immediately separates the husband material from the fuckboys.

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