How Not to Lose the Spark in a Relationship

Passion might not be that glue that holds relationships together, but it sure seems like it. Even though relationships are based on trust and communication, having a “spark“ is definitely given huge importance.


What is “the spark”?

We hear it in rom-coms, dating columns and basically, all over the place. But, did someone actually define what “the spark” is? For some, it’s the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach and being all nervous and giggly around your crush. For others, it’s the feeling of being understood and accepted with someone you’re compatible with.

But, is there a real definition of “the spark”?

No. For every couple, the feeling of passion and excitement is different. Some partners may become ignited by intellectual stimulation: good conversation. Other sparky relationships are based on physical and sexual attraction.

There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to passion and sparks. You simply know it when you feel it.


What causes you to lose the spark in a relationship?

Many couples consider losing the spark the biggest tragedy of their relationship. However, it’s completely normal and it’s nothing to be afraid of: it’s simply the next step of your relationship.

The trigger for the loss of this ever-elusive spark sensation can be comprised of many things.

Firstly, the most common cause is simply that you’ve been in a relationship for some time. Over a longer period of time, the feelings of infatuation and passion get weaker. This is completely normal and it’s basically engraved into our psychology. In the beginning months of the relationship, the infatuation period serves to connect us to our partner. After that, happiness and intimacy hormones take over, which makes you want to spend a lifetime near your partner.

So, if you look at it that way, losing the spark is actually a sign that your relationship has reached a new level. Have you ever heard of super-passionate, firework relationships that lasted for years or decades?

This was one of the usual causes for losing the spark in a relationship. However, there are some other possible causes that may not be so optimistic. A subconscious desire to leave the relationship might be a trigger for losing the spark. Also, if you and your partner simply lost interest in each other after you shared all kinds of intimate details, it might be a sign that your relationship is near its end.


How can you reignite the spark in a relationship?

If you’ve already faced this moment where your relationship became spark-free, there are still some things you can do.

The best thing is to switch up your routine and get out of your comfort zone as a couple. New scenarios, situations, and actions will give you the heat that you need again.

You can also try reliving some memories from the beginning of your relationship when everything was still all lovey-dovey.


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