A pseudo-relationship refers to a relationship that has high commitment but no intimacy. These kinds of relationships usually happen when both people in the relationship are very committed to one another by staying loyal, but there is no depth within the relationship anymore. After being together for years and years some couples reach a very hollow relationship where there is no connection anymore. And this is what we call pseudo-intimacy.
When you sign up to GoMarry.com you will embark on a journey with someone really special. Going into a ‘Marriage Only Relationship’ will have you partake in a committed relationship from the start. It’s very important to avoid landing in a hollow relationship where commitment is the only strength. In order for you to achieve full intimacy, you have to go through the five levels of intimacy. GoMarry.com encourages Marriage only Relationships but we also want couples to have rich and fulfilled marriages that aren’t empty.
Here are the five levels of intimacy that you should work through with your partner when you want to achieve true intimacy within your marriage from the start.
Level one: Communication
The first level of communication is a safe level. This is where you share general information about yourself. Let’s call it the chit-chat or small-talk phase. When you go to a Marriage Meeting you don’t know the other person that well, and in order to start the intimacy process you need to start sharing general information which keeps the intimacy level at a minimum.
Level two: Opinions and Beliefs of others
During level two you will comment on the opinions of others. Here you reveal a bit more about yourself. For example, you can state a quote that you remember from your favorite movie or author. While sharing these quotes we test the other person’s reaction to it. Perhaps they have an opinion, maybe they will agree or disagree.
Level three: Own Opinions, Beliefs, and Thoughts
It’s at this stage that you start sharing your own personal opinions, beliefs, and thoughts. You are revealing a little bit more about yourself. By revealing some of your deep thoughts you are in fact testing the other person’s reaction. You are beginning to show more vulnerability as you open up and dive deep into vocalizing what you think. Here you also need to listen to the other person’s opinion. Avoid conflict and respect for each other.
Level Four: Own Experiences and Emotions
You will reach the next level of intimacy when you start sharing stories about your past experiences and how you have felt during these excursions. Here you will share your dreams and goals. Mistakes you’ve made in the past or things you regret mostly. Sharing what scares you most or what excites you. Being vulnerable is a big part of connecting with someone. Continue to remember that we shouldn’t judge and that the past is in the past, people do grow and learn from it.
Level Five: Needs and Desires
You reach the highest level of intimacy when you share your deepest and darkest emotions. This is a great test in knowing if you can trust someone or not. Sharing information with someone that you’ve never shared with anyone before is extremely vulnerable as we test the other person to find out what they will do with this information and hoping that they’ll keep it safe and not use it against us later on. Remember to always share in your relationship, to avoid living separate lives.