69. Ethnic culture and background

As globalisation and multiculturalism grows, we find that a lot of our cultures and backgrounds differ from each other. And because a lot of our beliefs and practices are shaped by our background and cultural practices. It is very important that you thoroughly talk these pre-programmed “beliefs” about the other’s culture, before getting married.

We all like a bit of variety in our lives but certain cultures may not get along with others, not due to racism, hatred or animosity of any kind but by sheer practicalities. In certain cultures, it is normal to sleep on the floor, while you may prefer sleeping on a king-sized puffed-up mattress. Certain cultures have spicy cuisine, while in others the food is quite plain. Are you going to prepare different dishes every day?  Are you both willing to make compromises?

Each culture has its own approach to living life e.g. sharing of assets by the extended family, transition into adulthood for males, respect for elders, dress code, raising of children, festivals etc.

So the key question to ask yourself and your potential spouse is, whose culture will prevail/dominate the relationship. Is either of you apprehensive about adopting the other culture/tradition?

For example I am from a British Pakistani background. My wife is of an English background. It was something understood from the get go that my culture would be more dominant. Luckily for us, we share something which is our British-ness… so as it stands, 35% of our family culture is Pakistani and 65% British,… we really don’t know when one ends and where the other starts. We have almost got it down to a fusion.

The kids are though reminded at every opportunity given to me of their Pakistani ethnicity 🙂

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *