What do you think: what are the most common reasons for getting a divorce? That’s right, you guessed it. One of the most frequent reasons for breaking up a marriage is one of the partners having an affair.
It seems like affairs are so common that it’s odd that they manage to break up marriages with children. Should you get a divorce if your partner had an affair?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer. The one sure thing is that an affair in marriage is definitely hurtful and hard to handle. In the majority of times, it ends in divorce. Some people regard affairs as the absolute biggest betrayal of trust and respect, and they don’t consider staying together at all.
For other people, an affair is definitely painful, but they still consider staying in the marriage. This is also often the solution for some people. In the end, getting a divorce definitely won’t make you happy, at least in the short-term. Many people are afraid of the prospects of their life if they get a divorce.
So, if your partner had an affair and you got a divorce, is it normal to feel regret? Should you get back with your partner? How to handle the feelings of insecurity and dilemma?
First of all, it’s definitely normal to feel regret. Each time you decide to end a relationship, no matter the reason, regret can follow. It simply a normal reaction of the brain: your life circumstances have changed and your mind is trying to comprehend whether the thing is good or bad.
How can you handle this feeling of regret?
This is one of the hardest feelings you can experience after a marriage divorce. Try to establish contact with your ex again and talk these things out. The feeling of regret is often connected to not having closure. If you get your closure, you can get rid of the feeling of regret as well.
Should you get back together?
First of all, if only a short period of time has passed after your divorce, you should definitely wait and give yourself some space. If you’ve only gotten divorced recently, you should not consider getting back together so soon. These feelings can be triggered by feelings of loneliness, fear, and insecurity.
If there’s a long period of time that’s passed from your divorce, it means that you see things more clearly now. You’re able to act out of your desires and goals, and not from a position of fear and loneliness.
However, the number 1 rule for getting back together after an affair is that you both need to work on it. However silly it may sound, your partner is traumatized by the event as well. So, for both of you, a couple’s therapy might be beneficial. Never ignore the fact that one of you had an affair and pretend like it never happened.
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