Courting may appear to be an old-fashioned term that has long been replaced by modern-day dating, but what if courtship is actually more beneficial for us to find a lifetime partner? Dating is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as ‘a social or romantic appointment or engagement’ but does dating currently ever really include a romantic meeting?
Modern day dating was once an opportunity for us to learn more about ourselves and what we want from a potential partner. We were able to explore romantic events with potential partners to find out who we are in a romantic relationship and then be able to use that to find a compatible life partner. However, with the increase in dating apps and social media, dating has been soiled by the ‘player’ – a serial ‘dater’ who chooses to occupy themselves with more than one individual romantically at a time. Some may argue that the casual nature of modern-day dating requires you to consider multiple partners before deciding on a long-term mate. However, ‘the player’ has taken that to assume we can, therefore, have sex with multiple partners at a time.
The lack of exclusivity that comes with dating in the modern era allows individuals to be romantically involved with multiple people. So, instead of him buying you flowers and taking you out for a romantic meal, he is avoiding you while one of the girls he slept with is going through a pregnancy scare. Dating in the modern age no longer looks like asking someone on a date and then attempt to woo them while you learn more about one another. It no longer follows rules where you wait three days to call. No, nowadays we have people ‘sliding into our DMs’ and then the nagging question of ‘who is that girl in his top friends on Snapchat?’
So, what would our social environment look like if we considered courting again?
Maybe we need to take things back to the basics where we re-learn fidelity and commitment. Courting would allow us the opportunity to invest in an individual and attempt to win their affections, rather than getting bored at the first hurdle and moving on to someone else. Going back to the days of courtship has some positives for the attitudes of young adults; we could watch our children learn what it takes to make something work and fix things that are broken rather than throw them away. It would see a transition from ‘Netflix and Chill’ to potential partners revisiting the idea of going on romantic ventures together. I know I would prefer a potential partner to take me out dancing and ask me questions about myself than going around a man’s house who grunts at you from behind his phone screen and then expects sexual relations. Courting may seem old fashioned but really it is the core of all the romantic comedies you have laughed and cried at – so why not apply that to real life? We could use modern technology to take advantage of apps such as using GoMarry.com to begin courting.