One minute a man is hanging on your every word, declaring his love, and the next he’s avoiding your texts like the plague. Why? What happened so quickly that he did take a 180-degree turn? You’re heartbroken by this sudden turn of events and feel like he’s slipping through your fingers right as the relationship is becoming serious. And as gut-wrenching as it is, here are a few reasons he might be pulling away after the big confession.
Without even realizing it, your man could be pulling away from you out of fear. Some fears are deep-rooted, like trauma from his past. He could have been cheated or left in a previous relationship and him pulling away is a way to protect himself from getting hurt again. Another, more irrational, fear could be that he doesn’t want to lose his freedom. He sees his friends less and less, they start giving him a hard time, and he pulls away. This isn’t all too uncommon – unconscious reactions to intense emotions can cause anxiety and man bolts.
Insecure in Life/Career
For some men and some women, getting into a serious relationship while their life is so up in the air feels counterproductive. How can you give yourself fully to someone when your life isn’t where you want it to be? Even more, financial issues can completely take over someone’s mind space. These are completely valid and rational concerns. If he has issues at work or is not where he wants to be career-wise, it could spill over into your relationship and erode it from the inside out. Some men have a hard time striking a balance between work and home life. Or, on the other hand, he’s insecure about your career, and he feels your life goals are incompatible with his life goals.
Family plays such an important role in our lives. If there is trouble on the home front, this could bleed into your relationship. Maybe a family member is sick, or there is financial trouble; your family or his have issues with him or you – they could be in his ear about how you’re not the one. These scenarios happen all the time, and they certainly can stop a relationship dead in its tracks. Outside tension can cause him to run.
What can be done? Well, first and foremost, communication is crucial in any relationship, but if he’s running away then he might not be open to intense and painful discussions. As frustrating as it may be, some loving space and time may be in order. Gently communicating to him that you understand his need for some space to work on anything he needs to work through is most likely the best you can do. You can’t fix other people’s problems, and nagging or aggressiveness can only make him retreat further away. And if the worst does happen, and you part ways – just know there are plenty more fish in the sea.