Dating in the 21st century is hard for women, but don’t think it’s a one-way street. We may keep quiet about it, but it’s not easy for men either! Nervousness, not knowing what to say or do? You’re not the only one to feel like that!
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If you’re looking for some pointers or advice, we’ve got some tips to help you out on your next date that will help you score a perfect ten!
1. Confidence is Cool
Project it from the start…confidence! It’s completely understandable to be nervous for a date, but some self-confidence goes a long way to impressing the person opposite you. We’re not expecting you to march into the restaurant to meet your date with the swagger of Conor McGregor, but being comfortable within yourself is endearing.
Make sure that you have some conversation topics ready to go so that you can talk confidently about what you like. Don’t use this as an excuse to go on all night about everything you love, make sure to involve your date in the conversation too.
Choosing to meet up with someone who shares the same interests isn’t a necessity, but it may well help in the long run. If you love nothing better on the weekend than to go to the football match, while they hate sports, it’s probably not going to last. Being able to be yourself when talking about things will give you more natural confidence.
2. Get a second opinion
They may all be a bunch of jokers, or people you wouldn’t trust being left with your mobile phone, but you’ve always got your mates to ask if you want a second opinion of anything. They all know the real you, especially if they’re long-term friends, so will be able to help you out.
If you’re unsure about where to take your date, canvas them for some opinions or their personal recommendations. They may even come up with the perfect date that you couldn’t think of! Getting nervous about how dressed up to get? Ask them if whatever you’re wearing is too much. After some ribbing, we’re sure they’ll let you know either way if you’re fine!
Like we said, they know the real you, so they’ll also be able to set you straight in stuff you don’t even notice about yourself. “Stop with the aftershave, don’t wear that ridiculous shirt you love and NEVER tell her that joke you have about the blind dog!”
3. Keep it casual
You don’t need to go full Casanova and pull out all the stops on your first date. Keeping it casual will reduce a lot of the pressure that could come along with sitting down for a four course meal with someone new. You don’t want to realise that you don’t have anything in common just after the appetisers and have to navigate the rest of an awkward date.
Think about how you met them and use that as a signpost. If you met them at a cafe or in a bar, there’s nothing wrong with inviting them out for a cuppa. Make sure you organise a place that’s good for both of you though; don’t just rock up at the place that’s right around the corner from your house!
Early dating is fine on weeknights too. If you’re still getting to know each other, meeting up after work is a great way to get comfortable together, but if you’re getting toward third-date territory, you’d better make it a weekend date. If things are getting a little more serious, you need to show that she’s worth the time, and if you’re always busy on the weekend she may start to wonder what you’re doing that’s more interesting than her.
4. Manners are a must
We shouldn’t have to tell you this, but remember that “manners maketh man.” Showing good manners isn’t guaranteed to get you another date, but if you don’t have manners then you’re guaranteed to NOT get another date!
This should be common sense but remember to be polite and respect your date’s boundaries. Don’t come across as being touchy-feely as that can send the wrong message.
In this day and age, it can sometimes seem like the idea of chivalry is dead, but it most certainly isn’t. Be a gentleman and open the door as your date walks through. Little things like this will only add to your charm.
5. Preparation, Preparation, Preparation
As we’ve said in previous videos like “9 Ways To Break The Ice When Online Dating”, first impressions count for a lot! That’s not just true for your conversational skills, but also your appearance. Make sure you put the effort in to present yourself as the real deal, not someone who’s just gotten out of bed!
Sprucing yourself up shows that you want to make that good impression, so get that haircut, trim your beard and wear something smart. If you’re meeting at a specific venue, make sure to get there a little early so you can make sure you’re up to standard in the bathroom mirror, then you can also greet your date there!
If you’re having your date at a restaurant, keep it simple when ordering your food to. Now is not the time to try out that super-spicy dish you’ve heard your mates talk about, or bib-up and get stuck in to a lobster. Choose something you know you like and won’t result in a stained shirt!
You plucked up the courage to ask someone on a date, you’ve done all the preparation ready for it…so make sure your date is the centre of attention! Ask them about themselves and pay attention to their answers. This is how you’ll get to know your date and what you have in common, so don’t shut down!
Make sure your phone is safely tucked away too. Constantly checking your phone, unless it’s an emergency phone call, will definitely give your date the impression that there is somewhere else you’d rather be. The same goes for your smart watch. We’re in the 21st century, we all know what they look like, you’re not fooling anyone.
Don’t even think about checking out the brunette waitress serving the table opposite you. Your date has saw that too.
7. Offer to pay
We know we’re in a different age now, but at least offer to pay for the meal at the end of your date. Some women expect a man to pay on their date, which was accepted as the norm for generations, while some women would rather pay themselves. Putting the offer out there, no matter what decision is made, is the gentlemanly thing to do.
A lot of dates split the bill these days, and there’s nothing wrong with that. What is bad though is having a fight over who should pay the bill!
One cheeky way to easily get around this tricky issue, if your date is going well, is offer to pay for the meal and then mention that your date can pay on date number two! Smooth moves!
With all of these tips you should be bringing your A-game to the dating world. Remember to be open and relaxed through it all, but stay true to yourself and your goals. If you’re looking to find the right person to settle down with and get married, but aren’t having any luck with the dating scene, we’re here to help at GoMarry.com!
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