Effective communication can be the most valuable tool we use in building and maintaining a relationship
Sometimes, communication can fall short of expectations and cause conflict and sometimes, the potential breakdown of a partnership.
In this article, we are going to explore the different mistakes that can be made when communicating with your significant other.
You may learn effective communication skills to strengthen your relationship.
Making Assumptions
Ever heard the saying when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me? It couldn’t be more spot on. By assuming the worst or even by making assumptions without consulting your partner. You are not offering the opportunity to communicate with you. By assuming, you shut down the lines of communication between you which will only furthermore mistakes to be made.
Not Listening
It is common in all types of relationships to listen in order to respond, rather than listening in order to engage. By this, we mean that most individuals consider their response in a conversation rather than trying to understand other’s say.
Not listening at all can have a serious effect on your relationship. You are telling the person you are that you do not respect them enough to listen to their say. Perhaps, you are telling that person that you don’t find them interesting enough to pay attention to them.
There is no positive outcome from this, it breaks now all lines of communication and will only ever lead to conflict. It is unkind to not take on board what your partner is saying and shows them that you lack respect for them. A relationship cannot be nurtured and survive. Let alone thrive, if you do not listen to one another.
Shutting Down
Some individuals shut down when issues of conflict arise in their partnership. By not talking to one another and not sharing your feelings, you are making it impossible to find a reasonable resolution.
Shutting down tells your partner that you are not willing to trust them with your thoughts and feelings. Your this kind of approach will allow this relationship to turn sour. Try talking and sharing. It shows your partner that you trust them and that you are willing to work through any problems you may have.
Shouting
Okay, we know we have all done it. We have lost our patience during an argument and things have gotten heated. Just because we have all done it does not make it acceptable behavior.
Imagine having children and then imagine someone they love yelling at them. Brings your blood to the boiling point, right? Your partner is somebody’s child. You would not condone anybody raising their voice to your child so don’t treat someone else the same way.
When you shout in an argument, you are not allowing for any diffusion of the situation. In fact, it is like throwing a bomb into a burning building. It will just make the situation worse. Try talking. Talk through your feelings and thoughts and listen to theirs too. If you can’t do this without anger taking over, put a stop to the conversation until you are able to control your emotions.
It is okay to say to your partner, “I do not want to yell at you, but I am angry at the moment so can we continue this discussion once I have calmed down?”. Your partner should respect this and want to find an appropriate resolution too.
