I can speak to you here from firsthand experience, as I have been in the position of having that unrequited love for a friend, who didn’t feel the same way for me as I did for her
Unfortunately for me, I was in unrequited love and my precious feelings weren’t returned. We were friends from quite a young age and went through school together. Then as we grew up I developed these feelings for her. One day I actually plucked up the courage to ask if she wanted to go out on a proper date with me. She replied, “Don’t you think that would ruin our friendship,”. Well! it was her polite way of saying, I only see you as a friend.
While I was absolutely devastated. I just made out like it was fine and that I didn’t really have any serious feelings for her and we would be better as friends. In reality, I was crushed, but I got over it, and here is my advice on how to deal with unrequited love.
Read: Escaping From Friend-Zone
Pull Back
Now I’m not saying that you should cut them out of your life completely or stop talking to them. But you need to stop doing those little things you were always doing to please them.
For me, it was picking her up from work every night, just to have a chance to see her for a few minutes. In fact, whenever she called needing a lift to or from anywhere, I would come running, which had to stop.
So whatever it is that you are always doing for them, to make yourself seem important to them. Or just to get to see them, you need to stop doing that. Once I stopped the lifts, we began to drift apart a little, showing me that this was the most important thing for her.
With that said, we are still friends and we do still see one another when we can, but it is nowhere near as much as it was. Maybe now it is twice a month, rather than every day, and it helped.
Read: Fishing in The Wrong Sea of Dating
Get a Hobby
Another thing which had to change for me was finding a way to fill my time. After all, I was sitting around waiting for her to ask me for a lift, dropping everything for her. So, I needed to do something to keep me occupied and busy. So I got myself a hobby.
I had always admired the sport of boxing and the discipline involved in what these boxers do, so I joined a gym. The training is intense and it takes up a lot of time. It led to me forgetting about all those lifts I used to give her, making me lose those feelings for her.
My love for boxing replaced my unrequited love for her, and I still do it to this day. So find a hobby that you are going to love and stick with, as it will make you so much happier than pining over someone you can’t have.
Move On
Once I had a little time to process it all, I decided that I have been wasting my time on the wrong girl for too long, so I decided to move on. It was not long before I met a new girl, who I have now been with for longer than any of my previous relationships. I think she might just be the one.
Read: How to Act With Dignity
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