Break Up with a Controlling Boyfriend

Often when a girl is in a controlling relationship, she doesn’t even know it. If you have realized that you are in a controlling relationship the thought of leaving is probably scary, confusing and racked with doubt. Once you do finally realize it, don’t allow it to go on for years on end and leave you used up and dejected. Here is a step-by-step process on how to break up with a controlling boyfriend.


  1. Think of all the reasons you owe it to yourself to leave as soon as possible


Write down the ways your life will better once you are out of the relationship. You will be able to stop living on edge worrying about what your boyfriend might say or do to you. You will be able to reassess your self-worth and become a stronger more confident person. You can start doing all those things you used to do that he made you stop. You can start enjoying relationships that he tried to keep you away from. If you have been in this controlling relationship so long that you can’t imagine what life would be like without it, ask a friend to help you.


  1. Plan what you’re going to say and when you’re going to say it


Say something like “This isn’t working for me,” or “It’s over” and start making your move. The longer you talk about it, the more time you give him to change your mind and convince you to stay.


Planning when to break it off is most important If the person you are breaking up with is violent or you are afraid that something bad might happen. If this is the case, you can choose a public place to do it so that things stay civil. Moreover, make sure to do it when you (preferably both of you) are sober and clear-minded.


  1. End the relationship in your mind


If you haven’t done this, you will be more likely to not go through with it and it will help you to be more firm.


  1. Execute your plan and don’t relent


Keep it short because this isn’t an open dialogue. You have made up your mind already and you leave. You don’t need to talk about all the ways he has hurt you, you don’t need an explanation. Say what you have to say and leave.


  1. Keep your distance


Don’t allow physical contact while you are breaking up. After breaking up, sever ties. If you work at the same company, consider transferring to a different department or finding a new place to work. Don’t let them know where you are going to be staying. Don’t answer their phone calls or texts, nor interact with them on Facebook.


  1. Work on yourself


Spend time with loved ones, try to meet new friends, take up new hobbies. Start living again so you can remember how great it was to be in control of your own life.


Obviously, it is hard to pick up the pieces after a controlling relationship but you can do it. Nobody’s life is more important than yours and you deserve to be happy. Jumping into a new relationship isn’t advisable, but when you are ready, you might benefit from using a website like to find the one for you where you can take your time and build a friendship before a relationship.

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