Characteristics of a Con-Man or -Woman

What do we mean by a con-man or -woman?  Usually, this is a confident person who takes us in with their tricks.  In life, this is a person you want to avoid!  But in relationships, it can be even more harmful.  If someone pretends to have the same interests and priorities as you, then you find out they were lying, it can really hurt you emotionally for years.  But not to worry!  If you know what to look out for, you should be able to avoid this particular kind of heartbreak.


Before you get into a serious relationship, you want to really make sure you know a person.  If the person you are interested in building a long-term relationship with is open, then great!  You can find out if you are compatible.  A good way to do that is by looking through the ‘101 Practical Questions to Ask Each Other Before Getting Married’ on  But if someone is not open, you should take that as a red flag.  Are they not answering questions about their past?  Maybe they don’t want to tell you where they live or spend time with you except at very specific moments.  Do you know anything about their family?  Or, have you met their friends?  Of course, you will start out without knowing these things, but you should get to learn things over time.  If you spend a lot of time together and it still feels like you just met, then the person might be trying to get something out of you that you don’t want to give.


What do con-men and -women want from the people they trick?  In the worst-case scenario, it could be money.  Be very careful that you know someone really well before you start doing things like sharing finances.  It might be your preference that a man pays for a date but be sure you’re not dating someone who refuses to pay for anything.  Be wary if someone is overly private with their finances.  You don’t have to break down your bank statements together, but if someone does not want to tell you where their money is coming from or has more money than their job suggests they should be very wary.


Con-men and -women are very confident and very friendly.  Confidence and friendliness are delightful characteristics to have, but you do not want someone arrogant, or who is trying to overcompensate for something.  Say you meet someone who has flashy belongings and is trying to convince you they are your dream person.  They promise you amazing holidays, endless gifts, they are going to take such good care of you!  But then…you realize they are avoiding your calls.  And you check your bank account and – hey, you didn’t make that payment!  You call your date but they’re not picking up.  You make a police report, but you don’t know their last name, where they live, or really anything about them.  It is all too easy for con-men and -women to pull this kind of trick.


So be careful out there!

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