I am a hopeless romantic who has dealt with her fair share of deceit in a relationship. But then again, who hasn’t nowadays? This article will explore some tips that help you overcome deceit.
Forgive, but don’t forget.
If your partner has been deceitful, we will always recommend giving the benefit of the doubt the first time. Everybody makes mistakes and it is okay to show them some mercy. But don’t fall for the same thing over and over; you have to protect yourself too. Forgive your partner but make sure they also work hard to provide you with new memories of them being trustworthy.
For example, if they have cheated on you and they have held their hands up to their mistake, some can find this to be unbearable. We are so sorry that you have been hurt and we know it takes immense strength to push past that hurt. However, if your partner shows remorse for their actions and actively works to show you that they can be trustworthy, maybe forgiveness will help you both to move forward?
Don’t be Spiteful
A lot of people’s first instincts when they have been hurt is to hurt right back. Do not be that person, this will not help mend your relationship. This will only cause more tension and issues and as a result, the double deception will be even more difficult to overcome. Treat those as you wish to be treated.
Talk Things Through
Talking can be such a healing tool when somebody has been deceitful in your relationship. Try to understand the actions and talk through your feelings. It is important to both reach a mutual understanding of the cause and effect. By allowing yourself to be open and honest, and your partner doing the same, you will build a stronger bond and trust will be easier to restore.
Have a Good Cry
Whether this is with your friends, or with your partner, do not hold it all in. It is okay to be vulnerable and it is okay to show your feelings even when you want to put up huge walls and run away from it all.
Honesty is the Best Policy
Often when you have overcome deceit in a relationship, it can come back to haunt you at really inconvenient times. You are incredibly strong for battling through and working things out together. When the ghosts of deceit past come back to terrorize you, it is always worth being honest about that with your partner. Maybe their actions have reminded you of that terrible time or perhaps another person’s behavior takes you back to that hurt. If you don’t share with your partner, you are rejecting the opportunity for them to reassure you. If it is their actions that have brought up their past deception, if you don’t share with them then they cannot adjust those actions to make you feel right again.