In a relationship, when one of the people lies to the other, it can shatter the whole relationship in an instant. It’s not just a matter of a one-off lie, but it destabilizes the trust and makes the other partner suspicious about everything else, even the relationship as a whole. The good news is that it’s possible to gain trust back in a relationship after one of the partners gets caught in a lie.
Follow these tips and rebuild your relationship into a loving, trustful partnership.
- Communicate (a lot!)
After trust gets broken, it’s important to increase your levels of communication even more than you previously did. It’s very easy to feel disconnected to your partner if you don’t exchange thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
If your partner is silent, don’t tolerate it or hog the conversation. Express your thoughts and concerns, but also let the other person say what they want. Don’t judge them or criticize them while they’re explaining their actions, even though it may seem natural to do so.
- Change the Pattern
Following the days, weeks or months after the lying incident in the relationship, it’s important to be much more transparent than usual. To get things back to normal, practice 100% honesty with your partner, even though it may not always be easy.
After a long period of clear, honest communication, trust can be rebuilt as communication patterns change.
- Do Trust Exercises
In behavioral science and psychology, there are many exercises designed to gain back trust between partners who have experienced lying. These include Q&A sessions with your partner which demand complete honesty and may be hard to answer. However, when you finish this task, you’ll feel much closer to your partner.
It’s also beneficial to share some secrets, embarrassing facts or intimate thoughts with your partner. This promotes the feeling of complete transparency, honesty, and intimacy.
- Don’t Play Mind Games
After you experience betrayal and lying from your partner, it might be tempting to lie to them back to “show them what it feels like“. This type of destructive and unproductive behavior should always be avoided if your goal is to save the relationship.
Even though the natural response to lying is to stop being honest towards your partner in return, it will only diminish your trust and put an even bigger strain on your relationship. Act emotionally mature and remember that your partner is only human and can make mistakes just as you.
- Take Your Time
Gaining trust back after lying in a relationship is not an overnight process. To get your relationship back on track, it can take months or even years. However, if you’re willing to emotionally invest in your relationship, it will definitely be worthwhile. Recovering from a lying incident can even make your relationship stronger and more stable in the long run.
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