Improve Your Self-Esteem in a Relationship

Relationships can make us feel great. They make us feel like we’re completely understood, accepted and loved, even for our flaws. However, it’s important to continue to work on ourselves even after we enter a relationship.

That being said, one of the biggest personal improvements you can achieve is to boost your self-esteem. A more positive sense of self will also have a positive impact on your partner: you’ll get along better, ooze confidence and attraction, and appreciate each other more.

A lack of self-esteem in a relationship can lead to many issues. Even though it’s a personal problem of one of the partners, it can quickly turn into a couple’s problem. One partner’s lack of self-esteem in a relationship can cause insecurity, jealousy, anger, sadness, depression…

Therefore, to keep the relationship happy-go-lucky (like relationships on, both partners need to have high self-esteem. How can you work on your self-esteem while you’re in a relationship?

  • Compliments

Your partner can be your greatest self-esteem source, even though your sense of self should rely only on you. Take your partner’s compliments to heart and recognize that they chose you for a reason. You can even do a quick compliment game with your partner. Try writing up 10 compliments to the other person, as well as guessing which compliments will your partner say about you. After you’re done, exchange your lists and compare them.

  • Feel-good activities: together

Try to think of all the things that make you feel great about yourself. These can be exercising, doing your hobbies, painting, singing, dancing, doing sports… Try to incorporate these activities into your daily routine as much as possible. It’s also a great idea to include your partner! This way, you’ll boost your self-esteem and your couple connection at the same time.

  • Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

This goes both for you personally and you two as a couple. Sure, it’s easy to scroll through Instagram and see how everyone’s living their best life and wallow in self-pity, but these photos are not actually true. The same goes for #relationship goals, which are just sugarcoated versions of pictures portraying couples that might as well be fake. Remember that you’re unique and have a set of qualities no other person in the world has and work on them. Comparing yourself to others and going into despair afterward is simply a self-esteem killer.

  • Motivate Yourself

It’s easy to fall into a trap of laziness and inertia. When you feel yourself slipping into a whole of self-despair, try listening to motivational TED talks or other videos. Try to find things that hype you up or at least entertain you. Don’t let your feelings get you down, because you’re the one controlling them.

  • Be Grateful

Focus on all the things you’re grateful for your health, job, home, and in the end, you already have a wonderful relationship! Don’t obsess over the things you don’t have yet: if you actually want something, you can surely achieve it.

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