Hot and Cold Behavior

How to Deal woth Hot and Cold Behavior

Have you ever dated someone who constantly leaves you guessing? Some think this is part of the fun of the ‘chase’ however, it can last long into relationships leaving you unsure on how your partner truly feels


Does your partner often jump between hot and cold behavior? Will they be hot and heavy with emotion and then suddenly they are ghosting you?

You may  also like to learn the ways to deal with hot and cold guys

Let’s explore some of the most common behaviours associated with a person going hot and cold. You never know, it could help you weed out the weakest links from your dating life.



Most people associate hot and cold behaviour with a power struggle in a relationship. Someone who is often switching between the two extremes can usually be found to be holding all the power.

A knowing power player should be immensely avoided; they will manipulate you. Such partners will ensure you feel completely out of control. They will make you feel incredibly self-conscious, and you will end up doubting yourself and feeling worthless. We say; avoid these people like the plague, they will not give you the love and appreciation you deserve.

Learn: How to manage a balance of power in a relationship


Controlling Behaviour

Ever dated someone who sets you ultimatums? Do they put your habits or interests down a lot? This person is usually trying to attack the things you enjoy and see how much power they have in the relationship.

Let’s say you are a smoker, have your significant other ever threatened to break up with you if you didn’t stop? Yeah, this is a power play. Or perhaps, they have suggested one of your friends is not good for you and you shouldn’t spend time with them anymore.

Some may do this because, deep down, they want to make sure you are healthy and with them for as long as possible. However, if a person loves you and truly cares about you.  They will not use the power they have in your relationship as a weapon against you.


Putting You Down

Somebody who likes to hold all the control will often put you down. They may make you feel dumb or attack your hobbies. This is a way to attack your self-esteem. You will not only begin doubting yourself, but you will also begin doubting your own interests and as a result.  They hold all the control in your relationship. This person will insult you with backhanded compliments and berate you for pretty much anything you do. Then, the next second they will be telling you how smart you are, and you will have no idea where you stand. When this happens know that you are being made a victim of hold and cold behaviour.



If your partner will text you loads one day and then ignore you the next.  They are probably playing for power in your relationship. Somebody who lacks the basic human respect to treat you as an equal player in your relationship is only ever set out to hurt you. This will be the most likely first sign of hot and cold behaviour as can often route to the very early stages of dating.

This sort of dating style is intended to break down a person’s self-esteem and replace it with self-doubt. For the power players out there, this is designed to give them the upper hand and make the person feel like they don’t deserve them; thus, then makes them work extra hard to please that person.

We don’t rate Hot and Cold Behaviour; if you are a culprit of this, we don’t like you. If you are a victim of this, welcome to the club! Let’s join and find some who knows the real art of love, someone who is eager to accept us the way we are.

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