While all humans rely on each other to have their needs met, there is a difference between interdependence and unhealthy codependence
If you grew up in a family that was modeled on codependence. It can be difficult to grasp the finer details of healthy interaction patterns.
In order to fully define interdependence and really get a grip on what it is about. It is necessary to first outline what it is not.
This information will help you to understand the dynamics that play out in your own relationships and give you an idea of what to aim for. By recognizing codependent tendencies, it is possible to break the cycle.
Recognizing Codependence
In a codependent relationship, one or both of the partners will find it challenging to express their authentic selves. Toxic behaviors emerge, such as obsession, an imbalance of sacrifice, poor communication and power struggles.
The partnership becomes self-destructive and often escalates into an abusive scenario. The regular moods experienced are anger, fear, resentment, guilt, and depression. Sometimes one of the partners will take on too much responsibility for the other partner’s emotions. But over trying to look after the well being of the partner never works in the long term.
Instead of honoring their individuality the codependent couple can’t handle disagreement. And the slightest criticism will escalate quickly into the blame game. Although they are unhappy together. So, they fear they cannot make it alone and so stay trapped in a toxic cycle.
It is not always easy to spot a codependent relationship from the outside, as the partners typically act civilized in a public setting.
For more information on codependence and how to recognize it. Read How to know if you’re in a codependent relationship (https://articles.gomarry.com/how-to-know-if-youre-in-codependent-relationships/).
Adopting Interdependence
Interdependence is a healthy way of maintaining separateness whilst simultaneously depending on one another in certain areas.
When a couple is equally strong as individuals, it serves to enhance the bond of the team.
Teamwork is the cornerstone of true love and it is healthy to feel a sense of attachment. The desire for intimacy, concern for your partner’s well being enables you to have a feeling that you can rely on your significant other to get things done.
Interdependent couples live autonomic lives that intertwine and are affected by each other’s needs and desires.
The power dynamic of the relationship is fair, and each partner takes responsibility for their emotions and behavior (like mature adults). Due to a healthy sense of self-worth, the couple is able to navigate through difficult conversations and come up with compromises as needed.
They communicate openly and honestly without getting defensive or blaming each other unnecessarily.
They embrace their individuality while still making equal contributions to the relationship. While they each pursue their personal goals, they prioritize the relationship. And remain committed to giving each other support and respect.
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