It’s never fun being rejected by someone that took you a week to work up the courage to ask out. In fact, it can be downright ego killing and it may put you off dating. And while there is no exact science to ensure that the women you ask for drinks or dinner will say yes, and there is a lot of information out there (Ways to Ask a Girl Out) here are a few ideas that may curtail the embarrassment and increase your odds at getting a woman to say yes.
Get Out of Your Head
You are absolutely worthy of finding your soul mate. Say this mantra over and over again. That old adage ‘you never know if you don’t try’ is totally applicable here. We all get nervous, but if your whole body and tone convey a lack of confidence, why should she believe otherwise? On the other hand, men who are insecure may exhibit the behavior. Being confident, stifling that fear, and while it’s a cliché concept, just being yourself is the surest way a woman will be more likely to say ‘yes’ to your invitation. You can only be present at the moment, so make the most of it and stay true to yourself.
Let the Labels Go
While we’re at it, let the big ‘D’ word go. If you keep harping on the word ‘date’, it puts unnecessary pressure on both parties. Remember in the ninth grade when Jennifer rejected you to be her date to the semi-formal dance, your palms were so sweaty they left handprints on your jeans? Yeah, not the pleasantest of memories, but that label turned into something it shouldn’t have been. Dates should be a fun time for everyone, and even if it’s not a love connection, it’s a great way to get to know others, and an even greater way to know you. So, ask her if she wants to grab drinks after work on Friday or try that new Thai place you heard had amazing Tom Yum Goong. Placing too much importance on it being a ‘date’ can throw you from your game and inhibit you from truly getting to know someone.
Connect, Connect, Connect
Ask women questions, read profiles carefully, pay attention to details – this will help you avoid embarrassing gaffes like asking her to attend a basketball game when in her profile she clearly states how much she hates organized sports. Connecting with her before asking her out will also make that transition a lot smoother. It may even be natural. The first date is almost like a job interview; a lot of the questions are formulaic and can leave the conversation stiff. But, if you learn that she spent a year traveling South East Asia with friends from college, you can connect with her on this, as surely she will have a ton of stories.
Water off the Back
Rejection is a blessing. It saves you from having to spend an uncomfortable evening learning that you both weren’t right for each other. Take rejection in stride. The more you put yourself out there, the likelihood that you will be successful in your dating journey is in your favor.