Our past relationships are like skeletons in our closet: no matter how hard we ignore them, they always seem to crop up, even if we’re with someone new
If you don’t want your past relationship affecting your new one, read these tips on how to separate the past from the present. Your partner will surely be thankful!
Don’t Replicate the Problems from Your Previous Relationship
Just because your ex was a cheater doesn’t mean your new partner is, too. As humans, we are creatures who notice patterns and develop stereotypes that will help us recognize warning signs in future situations. This is a very helpful social tool, but it can be a real relationship killer.
Read: Cheating: A Relationship Curse
Don’t carry the baggage from your previous relationship into your new one. After all, you’re dating a completely different person and it would be fair to give them a chance to show their true colors.
Learn from Your Mistakes
Most people usually feel that break-ups and past relationships are all bad, but they can actually teach you quite a lot. After all, everything we know about what we like and dislike in romantic partners. We have learned from our previous relationships.
This learning material is also useful when it comes to common issues you face in relationships. If your ex complained that you’re too closed off, try to be more open and share in your new relationship.
Read: Effective Communication Strengthens The Relationship
Stop Communication with Your Ex
If you have a past relationship that has left a deep mark in your life and it still bothers you, it’s best to limit all types of contact with your ex when you enter a new relationship.
After all, it would be only fair to your partner to focus on them instead of your ex.
There is absolutely no reason you should continue seeing or talking to your ex if you’re in a new relationship. You might be friends, but keep the contact and meetings on the minimum while you’re still figuring out your new relationship.
Don’t be Afraid to Open Up
At one point or another, everyone’s been hurt by another person. But, think about it – where would we end up if trauma and hurt from a previous relationship prevented us from entering new ones? We would all probably be left healing from our first break-up in sixth grade and never get married and have children.
After you’ve given yourself time to heal from your past relationship, don’t be afraid to open up to your new partner. There’s always a chance they might hurt you as well, but you won’t give the relationship a proper chance if you never even try to give it your all.
When you enter a marriage, you and your partner leave your past behind and continue your journey through life together. If you’re ready to have this with someone new, visit GoMarry.com and meet people who are ready to leave the past behind and focus on you.