Hollywood and pop culture have romanticized the concept of unconditional love, resulting in millions of people actually believing that it is the key to success in any relationship
While this is true for healthy relationships (where there is actual love) there is a point at which unconditional love can actually be dangerous.
I used to believe in forgiving a person no matter what and thought that true love (https://articles.gomarry.com/true-love-in-a-relationship/) meant putting up with cheating (https://articles.gomarry.com/cheating-is-not-a-mistake-its-a-choice/), lies and abuse. I learned the hard way that this is not the case.
There are certain toxic individuals who will take advantage of your unconditional love and forgiveness.
Narcissists and psychopaths belong to this category and will manipulate your love to get whatever they want. Unconditionally loving such a person can be detrimental to your mental health as well as other areas of your life.
So where is the line between second chances and walking away?
Two Red Flags You Should Never Ignore
Learning to pay attention to red flags is the best way to know whether it is beneficial to try and work things out or not. There are two red flags you need to look out for above all others.
The first is lying, and while an occasional white lie is fine – outright deceit (especially in the face of having been caught) is unacceptable. The problem with forgiving a pathological liar is that over time. The trusts will be eroded and trust is the cornerstone of unconditional love. You cannot ever fully love a liar because doubts and insecurities are sure to set in.
The second red flag that you need to be aware of is a lack of empathy. (https://articles.gomarry.com/empathy-show-and-learn-to-share-feelings/). Empathy is what makes us good humans. Empathy enables us to love and care for others. Sometimes when we are in love, it can be tempting to make excuses for the object of your affection. Know that cruelty and a careless heart has no place in a loving relationship. Carelessness cannot be overlooked with a successful outcome in any situation.
When to give a Second Chance
The question of whether to forgive someone who has wronged you is a tricky one. After all, good people do make mistakes and are capable of correcting them. In the end, it comes down to whether the person is able to admit what they have done and accepted responsibility. They need to show genuine remorse and a desire for change.
If it is already their second offense, then it is unlikely that they will be capable of change. You need to realize that a person will only change with a massive amount of inner work and effort. If they do not know how to reflect on their true selves. They will not be able to figure out how to change. Instead of staying glued to unconditional love. Consider their ability to grow as a person when you make your decision
Unconditional love is not about turning a blind eye on toxic behavior and hoping for the best. That is not love at all, simply an unconditional commitment with a lack of moral boundaries.
True love is supposed to heal, not to hurt (https://articles.gomarry.com/true-love-heals/) and if your partner constantly hurts your feelings then you are in a toxic relationship and it’s time to move on.
There are so many wonderful people out there who would love to care for you properly and provide a stable relationship where you will feel safe and loved. You can meet people like this by signing up to GoMarry.com, and the bonus is that all of them are ready and willing to make a lifelong commitment!