Whether you need space or your partner does, it doesn’t have to be viewed as a negative thing. But, many times when one needs space more than the other, feelings are hurt and there is a level of insecurity. But, alone time can be a positive experience for a couple. Growth and evolution don’t only happen as a couple, their needs to be some time taken to focus on our own individual needs. But sometimes we are afraid to ask for time for ourselves for fear of hurting or losing our partner. Therefore, you may need to pick up on signs that some space is needed. Please remember that space is healthy and in no way a reflection of who you are as a partner or the fate of your couple.
Sign #1: Your Partner Is Easily Irritated
They can’t help it. Like children, one of their main needs are not being met, and they are unable to articulate that. But unlike children, who may need food, sleep, or a cuddle, your partner needs some time to herself. She may not realize it, but if both of you have been spending a lot of time together; it throws the regular routine off. If she is not accomplishing the things she normally does, she could be frustrated. It’s hard not to take this personally, but if you can recognize this and keep your emotions out of it, you can effectively communicate that space would be the healthiest option for you both.
Sign #2: They Are ‘Yessing’ You
You don’t want a partner that just goes along with everything you say and do. You value their input and their diverse opinions. But, if they are just “yessing” you because it’s easier, then they might be mentally and emotionally exhausted. They need a break from you, and some space to do their own thing. Breaking away for just for a little while will allow them to socialize, and begin their own hobbies and activities. Encourage this, and you will see them thrive.
Sign # 3: They Are Stressed Out
Money, work and family all have the ability to stress us out to the extreme. Sometimes that stress can be so overwhelming that one more added responsibility, like a relationship, could send some over the edge. Don’t wait for your partner to break down. Let them know that you are here for them, and understand that they need some time to process everything. The best way to help them through this is by giving them space to sort everything out. When their stress eases, they will be able to rejoin the relationship with a new sense of purpose.
Sign #4: Codependency
When a partner can’t do anything without the other, this can become a big problem. Everyone, no matter the length of the relationship, needs to maintain a sense of independence. In the case of codependency, not only has independence been sacrificed on their part, but also yours. You don’t need someone clinging to you. This could lead to you or your partner pulling away, causing a rift. It’s best to approach this with a positive discussion about needing space for both of you. Being proactive about is key, you don’t want to wait for it to become a problem.
Sign #5: They Ask For Space
OK, well this isn’t so much a sign as a blatant request. If they ask for space – please, for the sake of your relationship, believe them and give it to them. This kind of demand usually comes during or on the heel of an argument. It’s hard not to take offense or it feels personal when someone you love wants to take some time away from you, especially right after a fight when the only thing you want to do is to make it better. But try to remember that everyone has his or her own journey. People in couples especially need to find themselves. You both want to be the best version of yourselves. As painful as it is, let your partner know you listen to them. And that you respect their request. When they are ready to talk or come together again, you are here for them.
Sign #6: They Feel Off
Something just feels off. Their energy is weird, and you notice them pulling away from you. You ask your partner what is wrong and they answer with the frustrating response ‘nothing’. Your partner may not even realize what is going on. If you push them too much on what’s bothering them, fights are bound to happen. So before you work yourself up, recognize the signs of space needed. Let them work it out on their own. You don’t need to fix everything and have major life conversations just then. Once your partner is able to take some time to think and rest, conversations can resume again in a more productive manner.
Sign #7: Bickering
If your partner is picking little fights with you or seems annoyed by your mere presence, this might be their roundabout way of asking for space. It may seem counterproductive, but you being in their physical space is triggering them to push you away with fighting. Don’t fall into a bickering cycle; this can only lead to unproductive results. Instead, take a step back and ask yourself why they are behaving that way.
Giving your partner some space is not just a reflective time for them, but it can be for yourself too. Practice self-care even more at this time because you could feel wounded by your partner. But, it’s best to keep in mind that it’s not you, they need some time to clear their head and work through whatever they need to. What you should want out of a relationship is one that builds you up, and allows you to be the best version of yourself. When both partners are healthy and happy, a relationship can only flourish.