I think we all are guilty of letting jealousy get the best of us at one time or another. But if you find yourself in a perpetual state of jealously or envy of your partner’s time, then this is a problem that needs to be addressed. Jealousy is a normal human emotion, and being jealous here and there is not something to worry about. But being jealous all the time can come at a cost to your relationship, and it’s one of those emotions that can eat away at you until you just explode. Jealousy could be a result of something that your partner intentionally does, or it’s something that you have been struggling internally with for a while – however, some solutions could help you to overcome envy before it takes over your life and relationship.
Recognize There Is A Problem
The first step is to recognize that you are struggling. What is causing your jealousy? What are your triggers? Are they real or perceived? Jealousy and envy are feeling born out of insecurity, so it’s important to address this.
Be Open and Honest
Talk to your partner about what you are feeling. Tell them what makes you uncomfortable, and what you think is going on. More than likely they already know you struggle with jealousy, and probably have been on the receiving end of this. But it will be a relief for them to understand you better. And be prepared to listen to them as well – jealously often takes its place as a third person in a relationship, so your partner has been struggling as well.
You Are Not Your Feelings
As hard as it is, try not to dwell on the negative. You are not defined by this. Acknowledge your feelings and let them go. It may take some time and practice, so be gentle with yourself.
Perhaps, your jealously is stemming from expectations that your partner cannot meet. Reevaluate what you expect from your partner and assess if this is fair. Are your expectations supportive of each other? Or are you setting both of you up for failure?
It’s important that you and your partner carve out some relationship building time together. Your jealousy might be coming from a lack of connection. So if you plan for some time to reconnect, it might help to subside those pangs of envy.
Seek Outside Help
When jealously has a hold on your relationship, it might be time to seek the help of a professional. A counselor or a therapist can help you to dive deeper into your behavior, and help to address underlying issues or trauma.
One Day At A Time
It’s important to set realistic goals for yourself. Things don’t just change overnight, especially behavior so ingrained such as jealousy. Keeping a daily journal will help to pinpoint triggers, and even make sense of certain aspects of your envy. Be kind to yourself, slip-ups are bound to happen. And know that with patience, and effort you can and will overcome envy.