Humans are emotional beings. This means we form connections, whether we like it or not. Since we are deeply connected to other people, it can easily happen that we get attached to the wrong people
Sometimes, it is very hard to recognize that we are directing our efforts in the wrong direction and that the person was not meant to be ours.
You can often hear statements like love is hard or love is worth fighting for. This can make you think that love is meant to be complicated. It can mean that you should hold on, even when you are not supposed to be with that person.
Read: You Are Walking on Eggshells
If we transfer these statements into the real world, we can see that they are right and wrong at the same time.
Love is not simple or easy
First of all, love is not simple or easy. It may make us feel good, but when someone says love is hard, they actually mean that it takes a lot of hard work for a long-term relationship to succeed. You can ask any long-term couple in your life and they will tell you: it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. If you have been consistantly put on a recieving end?Know that he was not meant to be yours.
Accepting reality is the key to fair well
On the other hand, this type of statement can normalize hurt and sadness in a relationship. If you are going through a rough time with your partner or you’re in a dysfunctional relationship, you might think:
“But love is supposed to be hard! I should hold on and it will all be worth it in the end!“
This is where the trouble starts. This type of thinking can lead to us clinging to people who we shouldn’t really be with.
That said, there is a very, very thin line between relationship effort and simply holding on when you shouldn’t be. How can you know what is the right thing to do?
Read: I just want Honest Efforts
True love is all about happiness and comfort
If someone is meant to be with you, you will feel it in every atom of your body. You will not compare them to your previous relationships or think about what it would be like with another person.
Just because you feel good, it doesn’t mean that you are in a functional relationship. Closeness and intimacy trigger feel-good hormones, but it does not mean that you should hold on to someone you ought to leave.
Put yourself first
Have high standards and never settle for less than what you deserve. Never hold on to weak relationships and half-measures. You deserve more than this. You deserve someone who will love, respect and admire you throughout your entire life.
Read: How to Spot A True Love
Accept the fact that they are simply not meant to be. It may seem hurtful in the beginning, but you are strong and you will recover. If you continue holding on, you will miss out on numerous opportunities for meeting your actual soulmate. Don’t let fear and loneliness stop you from meeting your one true love. Your past relationship was all about cries and lies? well, you must have now realized that he was not meant to be yours.
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